Do you remember this time last year when everyone was so anxious to say goodbye to 2019 and welcome in 2020 as a new year of hope and promise? To be fair 2020 did begin on a promising note for our family, as we welcomed Leighton, our second granddaughter, to the world on January 3rd. All too quickly this joy was crowded by the fears of a global pandemic, the anger of social injustice on full display, and the frustration of election year politics that in cumulative wreaked havoc with our psyche and turned friends and family into adversaries. Is there still hope to be found among us as we free fall into 2021? If we’re willing to pay attention, creation always shows us the way by organically demonstrating the natural order of things.

Monday, December 21st at 5:02 AM will mark the winter solstice – culminating in the longest night of the year and the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. We have records of the winter solstice being celebrated by mankind since the earliest of time. The ancient civilizations of Rome, Scandinavia, East Asia, India, and the Germanic people of Northern Europe all recognized the powerful symbolism of death and darkness giving way to life and light. Ancient observers took note that from the time of the solstice till three days following, the long nights seemingly remained completely unchanged in length until finally relinquishing it’s grip and giving over to the increasing dominance of the sun in preceding days. The Christian church used this powerful celestial event and its obvious symbolism to illustrate the incarnation of Jesus as the Light of the World, and determined to celebrate Immanuel’s birth in perpetuity three days from the solstice, on December 25th. In fact, many of our Christmas traditions trace their origins back to these so-called pagan rituals. The ancient Celts would all congregate on December 24th at the town center where the Great Tree stood. The villagers would decorate the community tree with fruit from the past harvest, and ignite fires to illuminate the sacred darkness that would in-turn lead to the rebirth of light and blessings on the agricultural season to come .

I come to this winter solstice with contemplation of the divine sacred that calls to me from my ancestors. I celebrate the light in the birth of Leighton and mourn the darkness in the loss of my brother. Yet my granddaughter Ella calls out to me from her mother’s womb to declare that the sun is still here. Soon she will push through the darkness of her cocoon into her own light. I ponder the Great Tree in my living room that is adorned with lights that shine brightest when the room is darkened. The tiny lights illuminate the ornaments of Christmas past and present and remind me to remain grateful for all that has transpired. For what is unprecedented in this generation is not unique in history. Day leads to night and then surrenders itself back to day. Life travels each of us to a point of death, but our destination is always onward to new life.

One of my earliest Christmas memories is one that is rationally dismissed by the few who have heard its telling. As a child my parents would allow us to wake up on Christmas morning well before the sun came up to see what Santa had brought us. On this particular Christmas morning after all the presents had been opened I stepped out onto our front porch and looked up into the night sky and saw what I recognized as the Christmas Star. It had the size, shape, and brightness of every story book version of the beacon that guided the wise men to the Bethlehem manger. Maybe what I experienced was nothing more than a plane or perhaps just an overactive imagination, but to a young boy already looking heavenward for something more to believe in, it was as real as it was profound.

The Winter Solstice of 2020 also marks the first time in 800+ years that Jupiter and Saturn will align (conjunction) so closely together that it will appear visually as the “Star of Bethlehem”. All can marvel with me at the wonder of this heavenly phenomenon, but can we also open our eyes and hearts to the greater story that is being revealed to humanity? Creation is the mirror that reflects back to us our true essence and reminds us that as we anxiously wait for the sun to once again shine on us, our purpose is to illuminate the darkness.

Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright.

*See the insights of Alexander John Shaia on Christmas

145 Million people have spent the last week wringing their collective hands over the presidential election results and how their personal vote did or did not affect the outcome. 

So let me interrupt your regularly scheduled anxiety to give you some incredible non-partisaan news.

Our firstborn daughter and her husband (Amanda and Jay) are pregnant with their firstborn daughter. If you’re counting at home, that’s three granddaughters for Jackie and I, and we could not be more thrilled.

I call this child JuJu because she told me to, kinda… and if that sounds a little woo woo, just wait there’s more. 

Not so long ago, Amanda was on her way for a check-in with her doctor. There was a little added stress because she had not been feeling well, which translated into some general worry for the baby’s well being. I spent the morning in contemplation and reached for my touchstone to have a tangible reminder of grounding. In my mind’s eye I imagined this child in her mother’s cocoon, and I began to speak words of health and strength directly to her. My words were sent outward as opposed to upward – conversationally as if she were beside me. At this point the only naming references were by fruit size – like, how’s our little strawberry doing today? I didn’t want to have an intimate conversation with strawberry so I wondered to myself what I should call this child. Out of the cosmic ether, as if she spoke it into my ears herself, I heard “JuJu”. I thought to myself… JuJu – Wow, this is actually a moment of good JuJu between she and I.

I pondered this for a bit and then did a google search: I read that good JuJu is the energy of a happy, helpful, healing, peaceful and protective form.  JuJu is a magnetic supernatural power. It is a feeling, intuition or vibe that is created by our thoughts, words and/or actions. JuJu is a swirling force that can and will penetrate according to your truest desires. Well okay, then! she shall be called JuJu – a name spoken just between she and I. 

In a truly joyous circle-of-life moment, Amanda shared her pregnancy news with my extended family at my brother’s memorial service. It did indeed bring some great JuJu to the moment.

In 1965 The Byrds released the song Turn! Turn! Turn! on the album by the same name. 

The lyrics were a direct pickup from Ecclesiastes chapter 3.

After the presidential election four years ago I posted an open letter to my daughters (and future granddaughters) that read in part:

”Had Hillary Clinton been victorious in her pursuit of the presidency, her acceptance speech would have been symbolic in many ways. The acceptance room had a mirrored ceiling, and confetti was to give the appearance of shattered glass being broken, falling to the ground signifying that she had broken through the highest of glass ceilings. Little girls and women worldwide would now know that nothing was out of their reach. The returns did not go as expected, the speech was never given, the confetti never fell, the ceiling remained, and many women grieved. My daughters, do not grieve, but be emboldened. You cannot look to others to change your world. The change resides within each of us. As parents we must raise our sons to value all people and to see and respect women for their intrinsic value to the very fabric of life. We must instill in our daughters that they can indeed overcome our societal baggage, they can change hearts and minds, they can break down walls and even crash glass ceilings.”

Today we usher in a new administration into a very divided country. Regardless of party affiliation, or thoughtful policy differences, and societal concerns; we are still neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family. We All want to live in peace and in health. We All want clean water and a sustainable future for future generations. We All want to be heard, and we want to be able to hear. We All want to love and be loved. We All want to live with dignity and respect. We may approach these challenges from different vantage points but if we allow ourselves to believe the worst about each other than we are not as consciously awake as we would like to believe ourselves to be. There will always be fringe elements in every camp who claim to speak for the masses but they do not, and their intentions are seldom pure nor righteous. The unjust will always seek to divide – the pure in heart will always seek reconciliation.

We have seen first hand that each and every vote does matter, and all voices need to be heard – not just the votes and voices that come from our particular tribe. All of humanity is on a personal journey of discovery, awareness, and maturity that hopefully brings increased wisdom. 

At the next election cycle my precious JuJu won’t be who she is now – In April she will be be birthed into a different world where she will grow, discover new things, and continually evolve and develop her core values, beliefs, and understanding of how life should work. Have we collectively decided that at some cutoff point in our personal life journey we know all, understand all, can judge all, without bias or partiality. Surely the path of continued growth and understanding carries us directly into eternity.  JuJu wants to tell us that you and I cannot leave this evolution to someone else. Your vote matters, your personal accountability matters, your desire to be the change matters.

JuJu speaks to me and compels me to be the first to say: help me understand you better, help me love you better, help me be a better neighbor, co-worker, friend, son, brother, husband, father, grandfather and global citizen. How will you and I respond to JuJu’s plea?

Much love to you all as we travel together. 

Jackie and I were chatting with friends the other day and it was suggested that we each take a turn talking through 1. a win 2. a worry and 3. a wish. It was an intimate and clarifying time of listening and understanding each other. There are countless things to worry over and wish for, but the win can be more elusive. Many have found solace in the Fred Rogers quote: When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” And indeed we don’t have to look far to find the helpers. What might be missed is that the much maligned *millennial generation is leading the charge. *Anyone born between 1981 and 1996 (ages 23 to 38 in 2019).

One of the words to make its entry into the 2016 Collins English dictionary is the term snowflake. “…the term ‘snowflake’ is often used as a derogatory shorthand to refer to millennials, a generation said to be easily offended, attention-seeking and lacking resilience.”  

My daughters are millennials, their friends are millennials, my co-workers are millennials, the people I go to the gym with are millennials, the doctors, nurses, first responders, and healthcare workers on the front line fighting this virus are in large part, millennials. My at-risk pharmacist son-in-law is a millennial. I’ve been so very proud of my girls (my win) who represent this group by their selfless giving of themselves while they navigate the slippery slopes of running an events company when there are no events allowed – or meal prep and lesson planning for an active toddler while nursing a 3 month old infant. In spite of, or maybe because of circumstances, they are looking for daily ways to show gratitude and compassion to a community grasping for hope.  Amanda texted us the other day and said: The best part is, it doesn’t even have to be money! So many people just need a virtual 🙌🏼.  I’ve been trying to alternate between fun gifts and sending text/ emails. In turn, millennial brides who have had to postpone their weddings have offered to stay true to their original payment timelines in order to soften the economic blow. My millennial hair stylist posted that she was thankful for her clients who were willing to pay for their cancelled appointments but directed people to contribute instead to the local food bank… Stories like this are not the exception, these routine acts of kindness are becoming a generational pandemic of good. Sowing and Reaping – The Law of Attraction – Like begets Like. These are our snowflakes – not because they are fragile, but because they are beautiful in their individuality and ability to unite into a force to be reckoned with. 

Christmas Eve, 2019. I woke up early and was in a very festive mood already. We’d soon be going to my daughter Lauren’s home to make Christmas cookies, as is now the tradition with my daughters and granddaughters. It’s just me and all of my girls and if I’m honest, I like it that way… The Keurig brews a cup of Starbucks Hazelnut, and I shuffle to the sofa to savor the moment while Jackie sleeps. I launch the Facebook app on my phone and scroll through a litany of Christmas cheer.

My eye settles on a post by old friends – I read it, and then I read it again and again, trying to make sense. An amazing young man that had once spent hours in my home talking and hanging out with my girls, lost a tragic battle with depression, and had succumbed to the often harsh cruelty of this life. The screen is blurred with my tears as I try to comprehend the incomprehensible. This is not my story to tell but it’s a sad and telling piece of a larger connected journey to understanding.

On December 28th, Jackie and I took part in Yoga Mala – a practice of 108 Sun Salutations, or 4 rounds of 27 sun salutations, to say “goodbye” to 2019 and “hello” to 2020. We were asked to write down and reflect on a one-word intention for the new year. The word that came to me was, life. Later in the practice the word now continued to manifest.

January 10th, I attended the memorial service for the father of a client and friend. He passed much to young after a battle with Parkinson’s Disease. On January 26th, 9 people, including Kobe Bryant, died in a helicopter crash. The reverberations of their senseless deaths continue to linger in our consciousness. Mortality comes not only for the old and frail, but for the strong, for the young, for those with so much more to give. Yesterday a dear friend buried his sister who died after an incredibly brief battle with cancer.

Life – Now

I know of a young girl who has struggled bravely with the trials and confusion of adolescence. She once told her dad, “when grandpa died you said that he was in a better place, where there is no more pain, no more tears… why would I not want to be in that place?”. Recently I spoke with a long time coworker who was leaving us to pursue his dreams. I asked him if there was a tipping point that solidified in his mind that he needed to embark on this seismic career shift now. He reflected on the deeply personal loss of a good friend and the declining health of his mom as life markers that beckoned him to take a leap of faith.

My brother has been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. That sounds like an all encompassing and identity defining label, and in some ways it has been. There have been regretful moments to be sure, but he is funny, and giving, and writes deep thinking poetic verse. He has lived a beautifully tortured existence. His lifeline to the world are his kids and grandson. He has always been proud of me and likes to introduce me as his baby brother. He taught me to drive by letting me sit on books to see over the steering wheel of his Challenger. He bought me record albums and flannel shirts and my first pair of Chuck Taylors. I’m ashamed to say that I rarely call or check in on him. Somehow I’ve convinced myself that if I can’t have the 18 year old version of him that I admired so much, then I’ll settle for a limited caricature. I wasn’t there those times he tried unsuccessfully to silence the pain permanently. I wasn’t there when he was released from the hospitals. I seldom offered a listening ear when he could not force himself to get up and perform the simplest of tasks. This complicated version of my brother was too easy to ignore – some laughter and good memories mixed in with trauma and what could-have-beens. My extended family has a history fraught with mental health issues like dementia and alzheimers, as well as mental illnesses such as severe depression and debilitating anxiety. My mom was named after her aunt, lovingly referred to as crazy Amy. Maybe it’s my own fear and psychosis that repels me from the ones I should be showing up for. It’s no wonder that one cruel symptom of mental illness is a deep sense of being all alone.

Life – Now

The Christian tradition speaks of two followers of Jesus who played prominent roles in the events leading up to his execution, around AD 30-33. One is revered as a saint, the other as a demon possessed thief and coward. Yet they are both guilty of betrayal. Judas Iscariot is the protagonist of the story. The anti-hero whose rise and fall is said to have been foretold by the prophets: Psalm 41:9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. Peter is the bumbling and beloved “every man” who is either making profound statements of faith or conversely showing complete ignorance of the revolutionary development of human consciousness on full display. In the emotionally brutile climatic scene in the Garden of Gethsemane, Judas betrays with a kiss. Peter, in fulfillment of a more recent prophecy from the very lips of Jesus, denies him three times, with a dose of profanity thrown in for street cred.

Judas, filled with unbearable guilt, unforgivable shame and unrelenting remorse, finds a tree and does what we all want him to do – kills himself. Serves him right! Good riddance! There’s a special place in hell reserved for him!

It may be that Peter lacked the courage to take his own life. Or maybe he had seen enough forgiveness on display to hope that there was still some absolution to be found. It could be argued that Judas acted with planned intent whereas Peter responded in the heat of the moment, so their crimes are not equal. Regardless of intent, Peter would always live with the look that Jesus gave him on the third denial. Scripture recounts that they met eyes and Peter ran out and wept bitterly. Unbearable guilt, unforgivable shame, and unrelenting remorse – sounds familiar doesn’t it?

Judas isn’t there for the crucifixion and there is no mention of Peter being there either. All four gospels make note of the disciples who ARE there to hear the dying words of Jesus – most of them are courageous women who have dealt with their guilt, shame, and remorse – and now are free to lean into the unrelenting pain and grief for the one they love.

If Judas and Peter had shown up at Golgotha to face their victim, they would have been utterly shocked to hear Jesus cry out for everyone to hear: “Father forgive them, for they don’t even know what they are doing”. Those words richoched into eternity past from the first incarnation of the Cosmic Christ in creation, and travelled back up to Palestine past the lifeless body of Judas, through the corridors of quantum physics and the 11+ dimensions of super string theory, to the fathomless spectacle of eternity future. Everyone loves a redemption story, and an epic tale that includes a villain is even better. There seem to be no second chances for Judas but Peter gets that and more. The post-resurrection Jesus seeks Peter out by the Sea of Galilee and fully restores him. Based on this encounter Peter is given the figurative keys to the gates of heaven and is said to have been appointed as the defacto first Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. This astounding encounter displays the ultimate collision of justice versus grace. A map of hope, along with forgiveness and empowerment to guide us all, compelling us to walk in mercy, paying it forward with humility.

Who am I to question the sovereignty of God? I dare not, but if I could rewrite the script, I’d have Judas as the the great redemption story. My drama would show a despairing Judas looping a rope over a tree branch and tugging on it to ensure it holds. Just then he hears a voice over his shoulder… “Judas you don’t have to do this… what you did is not okay, you broke my trust, you hurt a lot of people, including me… but I forgive you, I love you… I know your backstory, I know what you’ve been through, I know what torments you, I know that hurting people hurt people, I know you feel shame, and guilt, and remorse… but let me tell you a story about our friend Peter – Do you remember the time he came up to me all angry and frustrated and said: “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”  I laughed at him and said, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22). You couldn’t know this Judas, but Peter betrayed me too, actually three times in the span of an hour. So, why would I forgive Peter over and over, and not forgive you, Judas? Do you really not know me, not understand what I’m about? For generations to come, all people will find hope in your story, they will learn to forgive themselves and love themselves again. For I am love, and love keeps no record of wrongs, It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails… so, no matter what, I love you!

Life – Now

Even now, as I ramble on I must ask myself – what does Judas, Peter, and all of the contemporary tragedies of humanity have to do with my unique existence? Are these the beginning signs of a looming existential crisis? I’m not the first or last person to look into the stars and ponder the meaning of life. Maybe the answer is that it has always been intended to be a mystery. I love Brené Brown’s quote that says: Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you’ve got all the answers, then don’t call what you do ‘faith.’ However, intertwined with this mystery must be something that we can grab on to. As best I can tell, the mystery unfolds into purpose. Purpose is why we exist and why we live on. We are born with a spark of the divine in us and we come with purpose infused in our being. Whether it’s living a transformative 33 years in a place that doesn’t understand you, or the brevity of a stillborn bringing infinite love wrapped in infinite grief, or in the struggles of a teenager confused over their feelings of sexual identity, or the young girl who looks in the mirror and loathes herself, or the 40 year old who self medicates to numb the pain, or even a little girl with hopes of becoming a basketball star yet perishes in a helicopter crash. They / you / me / the living / the dead / the lauded / the forgotten / the freaks / and the geeks – we have purpose, we are loved, we will be missed, and yes we matter to the world. As Jimmy Stewart discovered in It’s a Wonderful Life, the world is less remarkable without us in it – living out our destiny of purpose changes everything and everyone we encounter, no matter the length of time.

For many, the pain of living is too great a price to ask purpose to overcome. Mental illness is not a one size fits all diagnosis. If prayers, scripture, incantations and cosmic begging could fix us, there would be no need for pharmacies or psychotherapy. To reduce mental illness to a spiritual malady is an insult to the damaged portion of humanity that strives daily to will their way back to sanity, back to God, or something that resembles God. With no answer and no healing from our cause-and-effect version of God, we are left to secretly anguish that either He doesn’t care, or He doesn’t exist.

Life – Now

As I approach my 57th birthday I’m beginning to measure my days. I can no longer con myself into believing I’m middle age, and my body doesn’t recover from a run like it used to. I’ve witnessed my mom take her last breath and I’ve tightly held my granddaughters when they were merely hours old. I’ve presided over christenings, weddings and memorial services. There is something deep that calls to me saying, LIVE fully and do it NOW. I want to see the world. I want to have more compassion and fear less. I no longer want to fight over things that have no lasting significance. Love will always win out supremely over dogma, and correct doctrine will only take us as far as our willingness to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can have it no other way. We have collaborated to make god in our own image. A deity that thinks like us, votes like us, believes like us. This god keeps a meticulous record of wrongs, always protects the strong, always trusts the elite, always hopes for the quick fix,  perseveres till all others are diminished. Power never fails! Or so it would sometimes seem.

Our insights into the space time continuum are limited at best. We have vague notions of our future spirit life based on our belief systems. The real quandary is the question of what we believe about the present. The current societal burden and demagoguery of caring lip-service must cease. We have used religion as a millstone around the necks of the drowning. While some desperately cling to our platitudes for dear life, others lose their grip or simply let go to slip silently beneath the noise. There is another way… the way of empathy that breaks down the barriers of shame. The way of openness that welcome all to tell their story without fear. The way of education to get people the tools, counseling, and medication that they need to stay in the fight. The way of community as we rally around family and friends who are survivors or caregivers but feel helpless and overwhelmed.

Lest you think that I have abandoned the stabilizing importance of a spiritual foundation, or the merits of a faith based life, I have not. Hope is the great and necessary elixir for what ails us, and there is no greater abundance of this unlimited resource than is to be found in the truth that we are God’s beloved.

Life – Now

This journey to find purpose is fleeting. LIFE must be lived in the NOW, for there is no other time. All we will ever have is this moment! So, we must seek help now, be informed now, embrace now, cry now, forgive now, make the hard call now, laugh now, write the letter now, apologize now, take the trip now, be accountable now, make the appointment now, be defiant now, draw boundaries now, listen to the whispering voice now, love passionately now, and begin to love yourself now! This is the path of mindfulness and contemplation, leading us to the inevitable realization of our interconnectedness with the divine and the divinely created.

*Note: Mental Health issues and Mental Illness is complicated, and I realize that I’m writing somewhat cavalierly. I know first hand the damage that is done to families when what appears to be love turns into enablement – compassion can turn a blind eye to accountability. There is no intention here to tackle the nuances of every unique situation but rather to look at my own attitudes, and with broad brushes help bring awareness to the religious and societal problems that are rampant – leaving the most vulnerable with very little hope.

Prevalence Of Mental Illness

• Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experiences mental illness in a given year.
• Approximately 1 in 25 adults in the U.S. experiences a serious mental health issue that substantially interferes with one or more major life activities.
• 6% of adults in the U.S. live with bipolar disorder. Substance misuse is commonly found among individuals with bipolar disorder.
• Nearly 7% of adults in the U.S. had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.
• 1% of adults in the U.S. experienced an anxiety disorder. This includes disorders such as posttraumatic stress disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Consequences Of Lack Of Treatment

• Serious mental illness costs America $193.2 billion in lost earnings per year.
• Mood disorders, including major depression and bipolar disorder, are the third most common causes of hospitalization for adults aged 18–44.
• People with serious mental illness face an increased risk of having chronic medical conditions.
• Adults in the U.S. living with serious mental illness die roughly 25 years earlier than others. This is often as a result of treatable medical conditions.

• Suicide is the 2^nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-34 in the U.S.
• Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the U.S.
• The overall suicide rate in the U.S. has increased by 31% since 2001
• 46% of people who die by suicide had a diagnosed mental health condition
• 90% of people who die by suicide had shown symptoms of a mental health condition, according to interviews with family, friends and medical professionals (also known as psychological autopsy)
• Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are 4x more likely to attempt suicide than straight youth
• 75% of people who die by suicide are male
• Transgender adults are nearly 12x more likely to attempt suicide than the general population
• Annual prevalence of serious thoughts of suicide, by U.S. demographic group:
  • 4.3% of all adults
  • 11.0% of young adults aged 18-25
  • 17.2% of high school students
  • 47.7% of lesbian, gay, and bisexual high school students *National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers

To my granddaughter:

In a matter of weeks you will be here, and our lives will again be forever changed.

In quiet moments I wonder who you will be. Will you have blonde hair and blue eyes like your mom and sister or perhaps a brunette with hazel eyes. Will you be a spirited risk taker or an introspective thinker of deep things. Soon enough your unique personality will shine through and we’ll be amazed at how much grander you are then we could have possibly imagined.

As you make your entrance from your mother’s womb, we’ll worry about your safe arrival. As we hold you for the first time, we’ll look into your glazed eyes and thank God that you’re with us. As we watch you sleep, we’ll measure every breath against our own.

As your mother nourishes you from her own body you will instinctively know that you are deeply loved. You are no accident – you were planned for, you were desired and longed for. Your conception was an affirmation that God is good, and the divine cherishes you, and  hears the prayers of your mom and dad.

My precious granddaughter, I declare you blessed!

You are blessed to have a big sister to live life with.

She will be your best friend and your biggest irritation.

She will hear all of your secrets and always be your shoulder to cry on.

You will fight, and occasionally say things to each other that you don’t mean, but you will forever be each other’s biggest fan, and greatest defender.

You are blessed to have a mom and dad who love and respect each other and will set a beautiful example of a safe and compassionate home. They will worry when you cough, and be frantic at your fever. They will rock you to sleep and sing your tears away. They will teach you right from wrong and how to be respectful and mind your manners. They will watch you struggle and want to intervene but allow you to learn the lessons that duress teaches. There may be a time when you don’t feel as close to them, but always know that they will give their very life for you. Your dad will fret over you, read you bed time stories, build forts out of blankets, and teach you to fish,  play golf and watch football. He’ll worry if you’re getting enough sleep, and when you tell him about a friend that makes you feel special, he’ll tell you that you can start dating when you’re 40. Your mom is a super special lady, and like you, she was and will forever be my baby girl. You were in her and she in you for 9 months before you saw anyone else. You grew in her and she grew in you, forming a maternal bond that is unbreakable. You recognized her voice, looked into her eyes first, felt most safe in her grasp. She’ll teach you everything – how to smile, how to crawl, how to walk, how to go potty, how to dress yourself, how to braid your hair, how to make friends, and how to be the very best version of you.

You are blessed to have the coolest auntie that a girl could ever have. Auntie will make sure that you always look your best and enter any room with the greatest of style. More importantly she’ll be your confidante, your go-to, your place to escape. One day you and your sister will drink wine with her and she’ll tell you stories of when you were kids, and you’ll laugh and cry and be thankful she was always there. Uncle Jay will forever be the super cool, super smart uncle that can fix your bike or teach you to ski behind the boat, or help you with your Biology homework. He’ll laugh with you and tease you, but you’ll figure out pretty quick that he’s just a big silly kid that want’s to have fun too.

You are blessed to be surrounded by the unfiltered adoration that only two sets of grandparents and great-grandpas can offer. You will light up our lives, and bring joy to every encounter. We’ll watch you grow in wonder and gratitude and wish the time had not gone by so fast. We’ll spoil you and swear that you are perfect. We’ll look closely to see if we can find a part of ourselves in you and beam with delight as we see the familiar gesture or knowing look.

We’ll do our best to not give unwanted advice, or tell embarrassing stories in front of your friends, but always know that our intentions are only the very best for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it… you need only ask.

You are blessed in your heritage, as one from a long and distinguished line of strong, and empowered women. Your ancestors along with your grandmothers, your auntie, your sister, and your mom are blazing a new and profound trail to the sacred feminine. May you live in a world free of gender bias, glass ceilings, innuendo, and pettiness. May your voice be blessed as it continues to lead the clarion call for justice and equality for all humanity.

I declare with God as my example and this family as my witness, that you are indeed blessed. Walk in the power of the promise, and in the humility of this knowledge.

With a forever and grand love – your grandaddy.